Cody Dog

Yesterday was a sad day for our family.  We had to say good-bye to our Cody dog.  Our old guy aged pretty gracefully until the past year.  The dog we knew and loved for so long, the dog who protected us and took care of us wasn't really there anymore when he lost his hearing early this year.  Initially he compensated by staring out the windows and at the doors because his need to watch over our family was so strong.  But then as his body deteriorated that stopped and he started looking to us for protection instead.  We were happy to provide that.  He'd done so much for us over the years.  I finally made the decision it was time to let him go and that I needed to stop being selfish and scared for life without him when his good days were fewer than his bad and when his nights turned into pacing and crying in pain. I kept waiting for him to stop wagging his tail when he'd see me, or to stop eating, something, some sign.  That didn't happen.  I was finally convinced that our dog would NEVER stop wagging or eating unless we truly let his suffering go on too long.

Words really can't express how loved he was or how perfect he was for our family.  He was a bundle of fun and love who put smiles on our faces every day.  I keep thinking of his 80 pounds "sneaking" onto the couch with me to watch a movie, or hearing him say "Mama."  Yeah, he really did that.  He'd come over to me and say Mama in my face to get me to get up and give him a treat.  Or how happy he'd get when he'd hear his leash.  Not being able to walk him these past few months was hard, I felt so bad, I knew he wanted to go, but I also knew he wouldn't make it far at all.  I even stopped walking Daisy and Henry because I felt so guilty to leave Cody behind.  It made me so sad to see how excited he was for the car ride to the vet yesterday.  If only he'd have kept his end of the bargain we made 10 years ago.  I told him I'd feed him but that he needed to die peacefully in his sleep.  Well I think a certain big ol boxer boy owes me 10 years worth of food!  :-)





It broke my heart how this tore up the boys as well.  They curled up with him on Tuesday night and took a ton of pictures of him and fed him about a half of a loaf of bread.  I can't tell you how many loaves of bread or cookies that dog stole off the counter over the years.  :-)  I keep trying to think about the fun times, the goofy times, all the smiles he brought me, but the tears just keep coming.  I think part of it is because I feel so frustrated that I can't seem to find the right thing, the thing special enough to do for how special he was, I can't find the right words to write or say.  All I can do is cry.

For now I just need to know that I will see him again one day.  That he's happy, running free with Bailey, Dixie, and Harley and laying in the sun, eating bread and treats, and watching over his Mama and his boys.  I picture him sleeping with a smile on his face.
 

I know this post is depressing, but I really felt the need to put some of my thoughts down, even if I can't seem to find the right words.  Hopefully I can follow up with a happy post with goofy pictures of our boy soon.

I love you Cody dog, thank you for being the best dog a girl could ask for!  Thank you for loving us unconditionally and for taking care of our family.  You're a GOOD BOY and we love and miss you!

Comments

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. Peace be with you, friend.

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  2. He was a good dog and part of your family, anytime you have to lose the ones you love, it hurts your heart

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